owwww!!!!

It takes time for you to convince yourself it's over. You're better off without him. You've moved on. Then once you have, you act as if you've been reborn. You manage to smile and laugh around him. You take pride in the fact that you can touch him or punch him. Hug or kiss him and it means nothing. But, really, who are you kidding.
I hear the mention of his name, and my ears instantly become alert. Every thing he says about his girlfriend, or any other girl he mentions is a slap on my face. Seeing him, acting with him---a humbling experience. He doesn't even know it. I am crazy jealous.
I can't just forget. I don't think I can let go. I can only watch as he goes farther away from me. That's the only choice I have. I won't go after him. I won't bother him. I can't, I care too much.
The other day we were alone for an hour in the auditorium. We talked. At some point he suddenly blurted: "bata ka pa talaga, pero okay yan." The thing is, he knows what i've been through. It's dissapointing that what i say doesn't have as much weight as he'd want it to have because I'm "young". I don't care if I'm young, I know he loves me too. What's in a name?!?!
Anyway, I miss him a lot. Maybe i am better off without him, but although I've chosen to distance myself from him, it ain't working. Two hours. For two hours, I can believe he's mine.